I met a friend’s mom today,
and THAT meeting
explained
so much
about who
my friend is.

Apples don’t roll far.

Mom was quick,
witty,
ironic,
and too smart
for her own good.
Read more…

I forgot to wear
all black tonight,
me having flitted around town
going from one art show
to another.

It’s a good thing,
these art crowds tonight
were NOT expecting black.

Individual Expression
is the new black.

I love THAT.
Read more…

I don’t think
I will EVER
learn my lesson.

I walked in the back door
of our loft building
and there was this
fugly-ass 70’s sofa
with a For Sale sign on it:
$30.00

Just a few days earlier,
my 3rd wife
told me that she needed
a new sofa.
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No one gives a shit
about what you are doing.

Everybody is so concerned
about what they are doing,
that you could literally
point your arrow
in a completely different direction,
and no one would know.

I learned THAT
in High School.

I was a Nerd.
I was The Math Club President,
in the Latin Club,
Annual Staff,
and all around
teacher’s goddamn pet.
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“BREAKING NEWS!
BREAKING NEWS!
BREAKING NEWS!

CNN has announced
that they believe
that
THE “HOT BY AUGUST” FUCK-FAT CHALLENGE
will be won,
by none other than,
GRANT HENRY!”

If you didn’t know me,
you’d think
that I was the most
Egotistical Asshole
alive.
Read more…

My name is Grant Henry,
and I have a problem.

I have over 80 overcoats,
vintage,
new,
and fabulous.

I have a collection
of pullover
Izod windbreakers
from the 70’s.

I have over 100 pair
of shoes,
ready for a life
that I don’t currently live.
Read more…

FEAR & PRIDE
had me terrified
of entering
THE “HOT BY AUGUST” FUCK-FEAR CHALLENGE
when we were first planning it
at The Bonegarden Cantina
last Friday.

Pure,
unadulterated
Pride
and
Fear.

Two other friends and I
collectively have
150 years between us all,
and 150 extra pounds
that we don’t need.
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BOW YOUR HEADS:

Dear Lord,

Lord,
It doesn’t matter
if you are going
to do it,
or not do it,
but if you say
you are going
to do it,
then DAMN DO IT;
or if you say
that you aren’t
going to do it,
then don’t do it.

Read more…

“YOU ARE SAVED!”

I got THAT
as a chat message
while I was online
on this rainy day.

I was supposed to be riding
SISTER LOUISA’S SPIRITUAL SCOOT SCOOT
in The Local Parade,
passing out
FUCK FEAR pins,
I’VE GOT A HEART ON FOR JESUS matches,
MOMMIE, JESUS TOUCHED ME
and
JESUS LOVES YOUR BUTT!
bumper stickers.
Read more…

THE HOT
BY AUGUST
FUCK FAT
CHALLENGE!!!

I’m finding out
that there are
many roads
that get to
the same place.

2 other
FAT ASS FRIENDS
and I challenged each other
to see who could
lose the most weight
before August 1.
Read more…