FEAR IS FATTENING.
A “friend”
in the
weight loss challenge
that I am
WINNING,
ja ja ja
just posted THAT.
We are NOT agreeing much lately,
I think it’s because
she is confusing
our real friendship
with the face we apply
for the
“HOT BY AUGUST” FUCK-FAT CHALLENGE.
She’ll get over it,
or she won’t.
What I do agree
with her on is that
Fear is Fattening.
My Dad died a year ago,
May 9th,
after a short illness,
and less than a week
in Hospice.
His wife,
my step-mother
is THE absolute sweetest,
amazing,
giving,
caring,
and most accepting person
of me,
and I could be a challenge
of a step-kid.
She and I have spent
the last 40 years laughing,
teasing my dad,
having the best time
possible between
son and step-mom.
SHE
is the best thing
that EVER happened
to my Dad,
since Mama’n’em
split when I was twelve.
Well,
having had my Dad there
for the last 53 years,
I never imagined
that he would not be here.
During the last year
since he died,
I would think of calling him
a few times a week,
THEN
realize that he is gone.
My mind would immediately
go to the place
that said
that I SHOULD
call my step-mom,
but THEN,
my mind would flitt away
to another place,
and I’d find myself
putting SOMETHING
in my mouth.
Two Problems:
1. I gained weight.
2. I rarely called my step-mom.
So,
being the current
WINNER
of the Fuck-Fat Challenge,
I am CONSCIOUS
about what goes in my mouth,
and I am CONSCIOUS
that I have not spoken
to my step-mom.
“Vera, Hi.
I miss you so much,
and I am so sorry
that I haven’t stayed in contact.
My absence had nothing to do with you,
it was totally that every time
I thought of you,
it reminded me
that Dad was not here.”
I started bawling
and i couldn’t stop bawling.
I heard her crying also,
and saying thank you so much
for calling her.
“Can you help me Vera?
Can I call you every day
for the next seven days
just to get me used
to calling you?
I won’t keep you long,
I just need to detach you
from Dad,
and the fact that he is gone,
and make sure you know
how much I love you.”
We cried more.
Today is day 3
that I called him,
I mean her.
She wasn’t home,
and the call went to the
answering machine.
“Sorry to have missed your call,
leave your name and number
and the time you called
and we’ll get right back to you.
Thank You for calling”.
I’ve heard THAT
for years.
It was my DAD’S voice!!!
Having the courage
to FUCK FEAR
is giving me the motivation
to FUCK FAT
and to get back
up the horse
and call her tomorrow.
I hope she never
changes THAT
message.
Grandpa Sid with Grant/Mary Grace Hat