My name is Grant Henry,
and I have a problem.
I have over 80 overcoats,
vintage,
new,
and fabulous.
I have a collection
of pullover
Izod windbreakers
from the 70’s.
I have over 100 pair
of shoes,
ready for a life
that I don’t currently live.
Boots;
Motorcycle,
Rain,
and otherwise.
Tennis shoes,
sandals,
dress shoes,
Vans,
Fluevogs,
cowboy boots,
cowgirl boots,
flip flops,
slippers,
you name it.
I have over 30 pair
of summer shorts
that are all great.
I have 50+ pair
of underwear.
Equal amount of socks.
A month’s worth
of prescription glasses.
Probably 40 pair of pants,
30 sweaters,
and 20 belts.
Hats?
At least 100.
They ALL fit.
Everything.
I got rid of my FAT CLOTHES
last year when I lost
all that weight,
which means these clothes,
shoes, shirts, pants,
and hats are all one’s
that I love.
The Local Vintage Shop
would wet themselves
if they saw
all the great vintage items
that I
DON’T
use.
Bowling Shirts? Check!
Polyester Jackets? Check!
London Fog Trench Coats Galore? Check!
Cool Vintage Beanies x 100? Check!
Another secret.
I don’t shop.
THIS is my problem!!!
I acquire.
I receive.
I find stuff.
I thrift.
Shit is on my door knob
when I arrive home.
There was this Angel
in my building
who dropped off
my size,
RICH SHIT,
all the time
at the Trash/Treasure Area.
People leave things,
others take things.
If you found
a perfect condition,
freshly dry cleaned
Armani suit
that fit you
in Trash/Treasure,
what would you do?
Hugo Boss Shoes
in your size?
If you are expecting
a lesson here,
you are shit out of luck.
All I know
is that the first step
to solving a problem
is admitting
that you have a problem.
My name is Grant Henry,
and I still have a problem.
Should I have a Coming Out of The Closet Sale on Saturday?