Depression
can be a positive,
productive
state of being.
When I am feeling off,
down or confused,
especially when I’m missing my daughter,
I make a decision
to go under,
take a break,
carve out a day
to grieve.
I choose to die a small death.
I turn my cellphone off,
I don’t turn the music on,
the television might as well be broken.
I dare myself
to figure out
why I need to be alone,
why I’m SO sad,
what Fear am I not Fucking.
If I do go out,
I wander.
I put on a hat,
dark sunglasses,
and make no eye contact.
Don’t be offended,
It’s not about you.
Choosing to Cry
and go to the dark place
about what I’m feeling,
where I’m fucking up,
what I need to do to change,
what I need to let go of,
sometimes leaves me prone,
wailing myself to sleep.
Trusting the Universe,
Trusting Myself,
Trusting The Flow
has never failed me.
It’s nothing to worry about.
Inevitably,
the next day
I go to the light place,
I wake up smiling,
appreciating THIS life,
continuing my journey as
THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE.
This Ain’t Bullshit.
It’s O.K. to take care of yourself.
This is not selfishness.
To NOT take time
to take care of yourself,
THAT is Bullshit.
